Have you ever felt isolated? I mean cut off, alone, remote, incommunicado, vacant.... ISOLATED? I've been feeling these words excruciatingly so over the past few days.
Why? Because my computer went down with a loud resounding "NO, I won't work" announcement. Its now at the computer hospital, under-going surgery. Who would've thought I'd feel so naked without it. I use it for my business, banking, communication with my best friend who lives 400 miles to the north, and now for blogging. And to think that just 12 years ago, I went merrily through my days without even an inkling of thought or need for such a machine.
We raised our boys out in the country lanes of southern Oregon, with only one TV channel, no computer (I used a typewriter at work), and without the constant encroachment of information via the airwaves and cyber-space.
My boys are now in their 20's, and every time we all are together at holidays... what do they talk about? YES, their idyllic childhood. The only TV they watched was rented movies (of my choice), or the stray PBS children's program. The rest of the time they spent dreaming up fun things to do... like saving their allowance to buy a roll of duct tape from their grandpa and collecting piles of cardboard boxes to cut and fashion knight's armour ... that appeared to be metal because of the duct tape. They built forts, fed our two dozen chickens, cleaned the coop, helped me weed the garden, moved irrigation pipes for their grandpa... and this list goes on. You'd think they'd feel like they had missed out, but they don't. In fact, my oldest son longs to move his new little family out to the country. This is his dream, and one for which he's working hard to achieve right now. Thankfully his wife feels the same, and hopefully my first granddaughter will be able to enjoy days of using her own imagination, instead of being fed so much jabber that she has no time to just be... invent... imagine... use her own creativity...
So over the past few days of feeling isolated, I've also been thinking. Instead of allowing myself to feel the negative side of this event, I've decided to allow myself to wallow in it. Maybe feeling remote is a good thing. Maybe "solitary" can be used... for good purpose. Actually, not maybe... yes it can. My computer may not be back for a few more days. Maybe I can actually enjoy these days... to make art, to read, to do the things I used to do.
So this morning I'm using my husband's laptop for a few minutes... to check email, the bank and my blog. But the rest of the convalescence of my computer, I'm on vacation.
Happy Valentines Day everyone. Enjoy your weekend... as I will mine. (: